the art of losing myself.

I do so wish that I could claim the revelation of the entry's title. Rather, on the contrary, it would seem that my strivings raise their banner more regularly to the pursuit of finding myself. It is no surprise that in such a pursuit, I often land on the destination of self. But, is that truly my aim? For, if all I am genuinely seeking is to find my bearings on self, then what is my life but an ode to disillusionment?

Who am I?
I am nothing.

That is, I am nothing apart from He who sustains me.
I have nothing but that which He has given me.

"But, whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Ineed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord." [philippians 3]

In so many ways, I am returning to a heart of worship. Returning to what I knew, but finding that I was merely standing at the door before. Or perhaps it was a window. I saw what I did not feel from the safety of planted feet.

You kept calling.
I answered with my feet this time.

Now all I want to do is be where You are.

Truly, even the most beautiful gifts I shall count as loss for the sake of knowing Jesus. In this case, it's not a package deal. Surpassing worth. I love that. Paul knew. He answered with his feet. And, I think something amazing happened. I think that
in the art of losing himself, he found more and more that Jesus was all he needed.

Knowing Jesus is not a destination. It's an embrace.

And it's worth more than even the best version of myself.

I choose You.